Horror Movies
Looking Back at CRITTERS: What a Guilty Pleasure It Is
Critters, even after all these years, remains a guilty pleasure—especially for those who took their first steps in cinematic awareness back in the days of VHS.
Although it may be hard to believe, on April 11, 2026 it will be exactly forty years since the Critters first rampaged through the state of Kansas. Round and furry, yet equipped with spikes whose stopping power exceeds that of Native American arrows tipped with curare, the Critters stage a successful rebellion, break out of prison, hijack a spaceship, and ultimately land in a quiet little town whose biggest attraction is a bowling tournament.
On their trail follows a pair of shapeshifting bounty hunters, rather taciturn but devilishly effective. Suddenly caught at the center of events is the entirely innocent Brown family – father Jay, mother Helen, daughter April, and troublemaking son Brad, who years later would grow up to become Archie Morris, the red-haired ornament of the later seasons of ER.
The film was, of course, compared to Joe Dante’s Gremlins from 1984, which also featured destructive little monsters running amok, but the director of Critters, Stephen Herek, making his feature debut at the time, firmly distanced himself from any similarities. He assured anyone willing to listen that the script for his film had been written long before the production of Gremlins and was subsequently reworked after their premiere in order to avoid awkward repetitions.
How it really was, we will probably never know today, and in fact it matters little, because both films launched their own universes and both, in their own way, have entered the cult canon of the 1980s.
The Critters are pure forces of primal nature. It is impossible not to root for them. True, they clearly suffer from a severe case of perverted appetite syndrome, but they are absolutely uncompromising and unpretentious in their anti-serious contempt for all kinds of social contracts. The Critters couldn’t care less about the modern cult of the slim figure or the injunction to eat healthily, in small portions, preferably pretending that we do so out of necessity.
No – they want to eat, and they demand it like independence! Whether it’s a cheeseburger in processed or primal form, a chicken, car upholstery, or sofa cushions, a Critter has the sacred right to satisfy its unbridled appetite and will mercilessly attack anyone who dares to stand between it and food (which in practice means between it and anything at all).
Brimming with joie de vivre and a peculiar sense of humor, as well as an innate carefreeness, the Critters are the stars who steal every scene. Their one-liners are among the best in the film (the dialect they use is a sophisticated blend of Japanese and French elements). The gluttonous murder of an E.T. figurine is a scene that is simply unforgettable. Let us add that it is preceded by a polite inquiry about health and identity – so the Critters do have some manners after all. E.T. has only himself to blame for not answering.
This is not the only element paying homage to colleagues in the trade – there is a bathroom scene that directly references Ghoulies and a logo parodying the famous emblem from Ghostbusters.
The eighties atmosphere (a tear wells up in the eye) is further reinforced by the theme song. The actor playing one of the bounty hunters, Terrence Mann, specifically for the purposes of the film assumed the persona of a certain Johnny Steele and sang the song The Power Of the Night, bearing all the hallmarks of a hit from the era.
The craze for films featuring alien critters blossomed impressively, but passed fairly quickly – partly, no doubt, because in the long run it is hard to take this trend seriously, and comedic accents inevitably drift toward kitsch. Critters spawned several sequels (three, to be precise), each one worse than the last. However, this first, best installment – this manifesto of envy-inducing Critter hedonism – even after all these years decidedly remains a guilty pleasure, especially for those who took their first steps in cinematic awareness back in the distant days of the first VHS tapes.
One watches it with tenderness, with nostalgia, with amusement – one almost feels like cuddling a Critter, petting it, feeding it…
Let me hasten to reassure everyone who trembled for the cat’s survival from the very first scenes. The Critters clearly belong to a different group of aliens than Alf, so Dewey survives until the end credits in immaculate health. Reassuring, isn’t it?
