STARCRASH: Absurd Science Fiction Following in the Footsteps of Star Wars

The immense success of Star Wars led to a flood of B-, C-, and Z-grade productions, with Starcrash being the best—or perhaps worst—example.

Stella Star is the best pilot in the universe, and her partner Akton is unmatched when it comes to navigating space. However, because they are intergalactic smugglers, they are pursued by the agents of the Imperial Space Police: Commander Thor and the humanoid robot Elle. Stella and Akton are captured and sentenced to life in penal colonies, but the authorities grant them amnesty. A kind and wise ruler of the universe, known as the Emperor, promises them freedom if they can find the lost escape pods of an imperial spaceship, locate Prince Simon, the Emperor’s only son, and track down and destroy a planet-sized superweapon built by the evil Count Zarth Arn to take over the cosmos. Stella and Akton embark on a galactic journey, during which they must confront dangerous cavemen, warrior amazons, and the count’s acolytes.

If it’s not already clear, Starcrash was made in the wake of George Lucas’s Star Wars (1977), although director Luigi Cozzi insisted that the idea for his film predated the release of its famous predecessor. The production, which cost $4 million, was funded by producers Nat and Patrick Wachsberger (the former also co-wrote the screenplay). Cozzi later admitted that the small budget forced him to deliberately give Starcrash a crazy and campy style. The film was shot at Rome’s Cinecittà studio, with lead roles played by Caroline Munro, Marjoe Gortner, Judd Hamilton, Joe Spinell, David Hasselhoff, and Christopher Plummer—who accepted the role only because it allowed him to visit Rome. “I’d even do a porno if it meant going there. Rome is the best thing that’s ever happened to me,” the Canadian actor declared.

Filming was scheduled from October to December 1977 but was plagued by numerous problems: the budget dwindled alarmingly, the cast suffered food poisoning, and leftist workers on set formed a strike committee and reportedly even stole a copy of the film for ransom. When executives at American International Pictures—the studio slated to distribute the film—saw Cozzi’s “masterpiece,” they immediately backed out of the project. Eventually, the distribution was handled by Roger and Gene Corman’s New World Pictures. Starcrash premiered in West Germany in December 1978 and hit U.S. theaters a few months later. Negative reviews and poor box office returns prevented Cozzi from making a sequel titled Star Riders, which was supposed to star Klaus Kinski, Nancy Kwan, and Jack Rabin.

Cozzi could distance himself from Star Wars all he liked, but watching Starcrash makes his claims hard to believe. The similarities are undeniable: hyperspace travel, lightsabers, a lovable robot, space smugglers, Force-like telekinesis, and even character names and titles (the Emperor and Zarth Arn unmistakably evoke Darth Vader). However, Cozzi’s film has something Lucas’s didn’t: Caroline Munro in thigh-high boots and a latex bathing-suit outfit; feral troglodytes from another planet; a maniacal villain laughing like a deranged scientist; amazons on pink unicorns; fistfights reminiscent of Z-grade martial arts films; the count’s personal guards wearing 19th-century firefighter helmets; and dialogues such as “So, you know about the monsters?”, “Die, robot!”, “To me, golems!”, “Throw the rad into the furnace!”, “Scan her brain!” and “No one escapes the death ray!”

These lines make no sense even within the context of the story, which itself is absurd. Everything about the film is tacky: atrocious acting, sloppy dubbing, cheap special effects, shoddy sets, and a ludicrous script that gives the impression of an unintentional parody. Perhaps the only redeeming quality is its entertainment value, though even that seems more accidental than intentional—the creators likely didn’t intend for audiences to laugh out loud. Strangely, Cozzi’s film was nominated for a Saturn Award for Best International Film, and in 2015, Rolling Stone ranked it among the 50 best sci-fi films of the 1970s. Yet Starcrash stands on par with Ed Wood’s Plan 9 from Outer Space (1959) and Phil Tucker’s Robot Monster (1953): an unbelievably bad movie that is perfect for a viewing party with good company and a bottle of something strong.