Why do I find the sex scenes in the movies completely unnecessary?

Jakub Piwoński

14 July 2023

sex scenes

There is something special about sex scenes in a movie. They excite, attract attention, but at the same time cause confusion. At least in me. I’ve never been a prude, I have a child, another on the way, so I rather know what this game is all about. Besides, I believe that much sublimity can be contained in a well-arranged act of love – painted in words or pictures. However, I will not hide that I rather belong to those who neither sigh for typical sex in the film, nor do they wait for it. I present several reasons for this state of affairs.

Why do I find the sex scenes in the movie completely unnecessary?

Because they have nothing to do with the story

One of the biggest annoyances of movie sex scenes is that they are very often placed in movies as action cutscenes. The two characters just run into each other (having participated in a few scenes together) and after a short exchange of views and glances, they decide to go to bed. Then, as if nothing had happened, the action continues to the glory of the development of the plot. We know it so well that we slowly stop paying attention to it.

There is no better lure than sex, bare breast, bare buttock and the like. The promise of their appearance in the film can be an incentive for the viewer if he still has doubts about whether he wants to see the film. Art, using eroticism, has always served to break taboos or reach for the forbidden fruit. Nothing should surprise us in this regard. However, as long as we are not dealing with an erotic film where sex is a convention, or a melodrama in which the love scene is usually the culmination of the courtship of the two protagonists, I will insist that it is appropriate for the director to create a good reason to enter with shoes on intimacy. The problem is that this reason is usually missing. Sex in the film is primarily a flashy lure – a tool to arouse emotions, which the viewer does not necessarily want.

Because they play with emotions

Film is an art that owes its success and extraordinary popularity to the principle of, let’s call it, voyeurism. In a comfortable viewer’s chair, we turn into passive observers, who are provided with images taken straight from people’s dreams, nightmares, and real experiences. Some of them in real life are only visible through a keyhole. The film shows what is sometimes difficult to reach. Due to the embarrassing bonds of ethics, for example. Directors see their role in providing us with all kinds of emotions. Excitement is one of them.

I have no problem with the fact that some people may look for naked, intertwined bodies in the film. However, as far as I’m concerned, I prefer when certain nerves are kept in check during the screening. Just as I don’t like the idea of a go-go club, where eroticism is passively looked at but cannot be tasted (at least officially), I don’t really understand the situation in which the director throws actors pretending to be orgasm in my face and brings to mind specific feelings and experiences, and I have to fight with myself so that the demons that are aroused still remain dormant. It is an attack on the comfort and peace that I need to complete the session. It also increases the feeling of embarrassment, especially when an undesirable scene appears in a movie watched with the wife or other family members. Let’s make a deal – sex is not a picture that people close to each other want to share during the screening.

Because they lie

But the most irritating thing about movie sex is that it’s just plain lying. If we accept that a given scene has a plot justification and understand that it would even be good if the characters merged with their bodies, because it will take their relationship to a whole new dimension, then the problem of over-idealizing the act of love arises. What I mean? Those sweaty torsos, no matter how long the pleasure lasted (because it usually lasts a long time, I don’t need to say). This disregard for the fact that a shirt that has been torn may have value. As well as not taking into account the fact that it is appropriate to take care of contraception if you do not want to face the dilemma of choosing the right stroller in a few months. And, crème de la crème, i.e. the hero and the heroine in bed as real sex gods, masterfully moving the pelvis.

Is the sex in the movie the same sex we know from our own beds? I’m not convinced about that. The problem is that we treat it as a model. Is it good that pop culture perpetuates a false, idealized image of a man and a woman in the bedroom? I’m convinced that it does as much harm as popularizing the age-free skin of actresses, implying that you can be forever beautiful and young. You can’t. And some bedroom excesses are also not always possible.

Because sometimes less is more

The indisputable truth of art is – less is more. It is not without reason that the most exciting image of a woman is when she is not stripped naked, but dressed in a sexy outfit. Why? Because it is the imagination that we should give the opportunity to dot the i. Nothing works like an understatement. Anything too much or too literal works against attractiveness. If a sex scene in a film is unnecessary, and it lasts too long, it does not work in favor of the viewer’s emotions, nor does it work in favor of their attention. Rather, it increases the feeling of embarrassment and disgust. Sex scenes should be kept to the bare minimum in order to suggest and then heighten the tension and release it in the viewer’s imagination.

Because reality tastes better

We come to the merits. When I was younger, I never understood the kids who liked to go to the nearest toy or candy store after school not to buy anything but to stick their tongues in the window. I’ve never been into licking candy through the glass. Maybe that’s why I prefer to have sex instead of looking at it.

Jakub Piwoński

Jakub Piwoński

Cultural expert, passionate about popular culture, in particular films, series, computer games and comics. He likes to fly away to unknown, fantastic regions, thanks to his fascination with science fiction. Professionally, however, he looks back more often, thanks to his work as a museum promotion specialist, investigating the mysteries of the beginnings of cinematography. His favorite film is "The Matrix", because it combines two areas close to his heart - religion and martial arts.

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