ZARDOZ. Cult sci-fi post-apocalyptic curio

Zardoz was a strange viewing experience. The very beginning foreshadowed an original set of impressions. A giant head of some God emerged from the clouds, announcing to his people that, in a simplified sense, the penis is evil because it releases semen and creates more corrupted people, while weapons are good because they can eliminate these people. Shortly after, Sean Connery appeared on the screen in red loincloths, and I already knew there would be trouble. I endured an hour. I finished it, painfully, the next day.

It’s difficult for me to write about the plot in a situation where we are dealing with something so strange, pretextual, and, above all, disjointed. However, reviewer integrity obliges me to reveal a bit about the film’s content. So, it’s the year 2293. Earth after a cataclysm. Humanity is divided into Brutals, hiding somewhere in the bushes, and Exterminators, the privileged caste tasked with controlling and eliminating the former. In the idyllic land of Vortex, immortal intellectuals, remnants of the old civilization, live in peace. One day, Zed, armed and dangerous Sean Connery, arrives. The result of this meeting quickly spirals out of control—both for the characters and the audience. Because these are just premises. What this film was supposed to be about, only its creator knows.

Under normal circumstances, this paragraph would be devoted to weaving deep reflections on the reviewed title. I would probably focus, as I usually do, on religious metaphors and how they relate to the traditions of monotheistic beliefs. I would also raise the issue of immortality, which can be learned quite a bit about in the film (such as the fact that it doesn’t have to be as sweet as imagined), and I would appreciate the way it breaks sexual taboos. I would also give credit for the presence of numerous symbols, cultural references, and many other things that make this film original.

I won’t do that, however, because all these nuances were thrown into the film completely thoughtlessly. In my opinion, the content of Zardoz is nothing more than narcotic babble. We listen to it, and although we know that there is something valuable hidden between some words, considering the circumstances, that is, the way these words are spoken, we can’t take them seriously. Another comparison comes to mind, perhaps more accurate. During the screening, I felt a bit like I was watching some cheap, street performance, which is supposed to be profound but, in practice, just looks idiotic. This is evident mainly in the example of the actors’ performances, which exceeded the limit of artificiality.

At the head of these hopeless creations is Sean Connery. And it’s sad to admit, especially when considering the fact that the famous Scotsman is not usually associated with such failures. In Boorman’s film, he behaves like a trained monkey—uttering only a few sentences, skulking through the film with an indistinct expression of wildness on his face. I can’t quite answer the question of what the actor must have guided himself by when deciding to take on the role. Because it seems to me that a star of this caliber, after reading such a script, should approach the project with much more… discretion. On the other hand, conceptual sketches of the costume in which the actor would parade throughout the film should ultimately dissuade him from signing the contract. Why didn’t that happen? The easiest answer is money. But it seems to me that the pseudo-artistic aura hovering over the project could also have mattered, making those involved presume that something incredibly unique was being created.

And yes, something unique was created. But in the bad sense. It’s not enough to come up with an original concept that, in its assumptions, aims to reach ultimate issues. It’s not enough to involve a well-known actor in the lead role. Colorful costumes of Zardoz are not enough to intrigue with aesthetics. All of this must still harmonize with each other and carry some meaning. Zardoz simply has no meaning. It aspired to reach the summit but ended up at the bottom.